Tree and Sky page 1

I'm only going to put page one up here, the second page sounds a bit too much like debussy for my personal comfort so I'm going to work on it tomorrow.

just some reflection really

I played some piano today - took some chords from a piece whose writing was difficult and whose premiere went terribly and scarred every relationship I had with everyone involved.. and yet people I trust have told me that music was still worth something. it was meant to be hopeful and empowering, but everything about it feels like a big painful mopey failure for me. i can’t reconcile that just yet, but I played some very vindictive and broody arpeggiated passages based on that chord progression. I didn’t record it, but I might notate it one day.

I don’t think talking down about what I’m feeling is actually very helpful, but idk what else to do about it. shame’s hard, huh.

Unless I practice actually getting notes out there, I think I’m always going to be pulling teeth trying to write music that matters to me - really any music at all. I want to write some more notes soon - the routine of these days has grown over the music writing time I had hoped for, so I’ll have to cleave some space in again.

Hope you’re all doing okay. xx