I've loved writing as much as I have this time around, and I want to do more. And keep up the nightly scribbles that have fallen off the routine horse bc of essays that needed writing.
I want to keep updating that longer poem, and keep thinking about the things I started thinking about.
it's the start of a piece for two violins, bassoon, and piano, that all being well I will actually be able to write, and not be forced to absent fail the subject for stupid reasons
my process is fucked my attitude is fucked, but goddammit I'm getting better slowly, and the whole pandemic is extra fucked
lots of love to you all - until next time xx
the piece I wrote after that last post lol sorry
NEW MUSIC EVERY DAY
Tuesday, 21 April 2020
Sunday, 19 April 2020
an improvised piano nonsense with bookcase
I used to be good at improvising then I lost my nerve and stopped for a few years, and now I never like what comes out. I like some things in here.
sitting down to fuck around at this new piano 9 years ago with my new iPod touch and the voice memo function is what made me realise I wanted to compose. it’s special to get back into it, even if I suck at it for a good long while yet.
https://youtu.be/JBpY4h2psLI
(edit - I wasn’t going to post anything today bc it got too late for me to use brain for good word think, then I remembered I did this! was going to film myself on a whim rather than record it, the camera was flipped and I decided I liked it)
xx
sitting down to fuck around at this new piano 9 years ago with my new iPod touch and the voice memo function is what made me realise I wanted to compose. it’s special to get back into it, even if I suck at it for a good long while yet.
https://youtu.be/JBpY4h2psLI
(edit - I wasn’t going to post anything today bc it got too late for me to use brain for good word think, then I remembered I did this! was going to film myself on a whim rather than record it, the camera was flipped and I decided I liked it)
xx
Friday, 17 April 2020
actual music? in MY month of music??
I mean only a small undeveloped snippet but still!
https://soundcloud.com/jmgibson/piano-voice-soft-light/s-uTgHSdnrs7g
beginnings of a piece for leichhardt espresso chorus. something about..
soft icicle stillness
soft haze of sharp colours
soft neons beseeching
immutable lights and
irrepressible warmth amidst
the cold
o r s o m e t h i n g
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
something else, about sexuality
I have long periodic dips in the asexual world and I feel like I’m there now so whelp
this isn’t finished yet but I’m falling asleep trying to write it
she’s switched it off again,
stone cold stuck and stayed,
deader than a frayed bunch
of wires. no warning signs,
no courtesy notices, no letters
of intent or lack thereof, no
post-it notes left to remind
us or tell us don’t wait up,
signed with two kisses. it’s
not like she’ll be missed
terribly much, too fussy and
insistent on her being heard
and answered for and indulged
like she’s the only one of us
who lives for bliss and craves
whole-hearted love.
too much trouble too much
devastation, worlds ended,
hearts broken like a child
disappointed on a playdate.
Wednesday, 15 April 2020
Part II
the slant of the sunlight hits different when I think about you
warms me upwards from the root of my body and I
can’t contain it
sometimes it bursts careless and catastrophic,
spilling champagne and confetti smashing glass
candy-pink explosion
neon floodlights and screaming...
_
who are you again? the day changed like your face
and I can’t recognise you anymore
I can hear the way you made me feel, but now I don’t know if it was ever
really you at all
I can hear soft pulsating beats of neon harmony
I can hear them through to my fingertips down to my core, quietening down until they
reach my feet
and I do not move
I think that if I listen closer I will understand something better
I can always hear this, and I always think this
I don’t know what it means
Tuesday, 14 April 2020
Tree and Sky page 1
I'm only going to put page one up here, the second page sounds a bit too much like debussy for my personal comfort so I'm going to work on it tomorrow.
just some reflection really
I played some piano today - took some chords from a piece whose writing was difficult and whose premiere went terribly and scarred every relationship I had with everyone involved.. and yet people I trust have told me that music was still worth something. it was meant to be hopeful and empowering, but everything about it feels like a big painful mopey failure for me. i can’t reconcile that just yet, but I played some very vindictive and broody arpeggiated passages based on that chord progression. I didn’t record it, but I might notate it one day.
I don’t think talking down about what I’m feeling is actually very helpful, but idk what else to do about it. shame’s hard, huh.
Unless I practice actually getting notes out there, I think I’m always going to be pulling teeth trying to write music that matters to me - really any music at all. I want to write some more notes soon - the routine of these days has grown over the music writing time I had hoped for, so I’ll have to cleave some space in again.
Hope you’re all doing okay. xx
I don’t think talking down about what I’m feeling is actually very helpful, but idk what else to do about it. shame’s hard, huh.
Unless I practice actually getting notes out there, I think I’m always going to be pulling teeth trying to write music that matters to me - really any music at all. I want to write some more notes soon - the routine of these days has grown over the music writing time I had hoped for, so I’ll have to cleave some space in again.
Hope you’re all doing okay. xx
Monday, 13 April 2020
A Moment - and a start of a new song cycle
Given that it's the last seven days, I thought I'd give myself a project to push through to the end. A new song cycle, starting with this dark stormy poem:
Sunday, 12 April 2020
guess this is month of weird poems for me
i don’t know what to add yet? too tired to add more now, will add edits here
the slant of the sunlight hits different when I think about you
warms me upwards from the root of my body and I
can’t contain it
sometimes it bursts careless and catastrophic,
spilling champagne and confetti smashing glass
candy-pink explosion
neon floodlights and screamkng...
tbc
Saturday, 11 April 2020
Friday, 10 April 2020
Lake Lines 7 - for voices
I'm going to try and turn Lake Lines into a little album, some atmospheric soundscape recordings mixed in. This one I'm thinking of as a bit of a virtual choir situation, and there's a lot of sound design to do after the fact!
Thursday, 9 April 2020
Lake Lines 6
I'm going to try out some processing on this one, yet again no dynamics and yet again this one's SLOW
Wednesday, 8 April 2020
this is for an assignment due next week
I want to think more but I left it too late and now I’m tired. Sorry I’m not writing music, and that this is bad - beginnings of something I will update soon
Beautiful words, like beautiful jewels, catch the light
Interpreters set them in rings for socialites and dilettantes to wear
about and opine and share
eventually the jewel is forgotten for the ring
hmmm??
Beautiful words, like beautiful jewels, catch the light
Interpreters set them in rings for socialites and dilettantes to wear
about and opine and share
eventually the jewel is forgotten for the ring
hmmm??
Tuesday, 7 April 2020
Monday, 6 April 2020
lucretius on the notion that ‘death is nothing to us’
I didn’t write music today, I wrote 900 words about death for uni. Please enjoy/do not read some mediocre academic philosophy about Lucretius and the fear of death.
uploaded bc Andrew told me he may or may be uploading a short story so I thought FUCKIT gonna submit gonna do that sweet sweet content
_________________________
In Book III of De Rerum Natura, Lucretius expands on an argument from Epicurus’ Principal Doctrines that ‘death is nothing to us’ by couching the argument in terms of Epicurean natural science. The argument can be reframed as follows: death marks the end of existence, and therefore of sensation. The soul does not exist during death because it is mortal, and as such cannot experience any sensation at all, let alone any distressing sensation of being dead. Therefore, ‘there is nothing to fear in death.’ (877) Crucial to Lucretius’ argument is the notion that while the soul (or mind, or ‘nature of the mind’) and the body are understood to be separate and separable entities, the soul itself is taken to be mortal just like the body; and being mortal, it is bound to the confines of existence, which we can take to mean the finite duration of one’s life. Beyond existence is merely nothing, and wholly nothing; neither any content to fear, nor any content to experience at all.
‘Fear of death’ is both universal and personal, and it is difficult as such to state definitively whether Lucretius totally relieves fear of death with this argument – for example, from a religious perspective, it might be horrifying to hear argued the absence of some heavenly afterlife. It is clear to see how this argument might be reassuring – as there is no sensation in death, there is some peace to conceiving of an indisputable and irreversible end to all fear, pain and suffering. However, whether or not Lucretius’ argument relieves fear of death seems to depend on whether the question that it is unreasonable to fear death is answered.
One objection might be that while death itself has no content and no rational reason for fear, dying itself is something that can be rationally feared, if only for the mode of it. Lucretius describes death in terms of ‘undisturbed rest’ and ‘deepest sleep’, seemingly taking for granted the process of dying being akin to simply fading from consciousness. However, there is the prospect of a more turbulent death, for example from illness, natural disasters, torture and murder; all of these for seem reasonably feared, even if the end result, being an end to sensation and any aforementioned suffering, is in and of itself not to be feared.
Lucretius’ possible response to this objection might be found in his discussion of the ‘abysm of Acheron’ or horrors of traditional conceptions of the underworld (979). The closest response seems to frame these fears of illness, torture and natural disasters not as fear of death, but fear that what happens in life is somehow worsened in the event of death; or as a torturous ‘fear of punishment’ and ‘atonement for ...offenses.’ (1013-1015) In other words, these fears are not a fear of death, but fear of suffering and pain in death, or more simply, a fear of dying badly; and on Lucretius’ conception there seems to be a substantial enough difference between ‘dying’ and ‘death’ itself that one may be reasonably feared to be bad, while the other is not to be feared at all. Thus the argument that ‘death is nothing to us’ wherein death refers to the eternal end of experience seems convincing. However, in needing this caveat, it does not seem that ‘death’ and ‘dying’ are sufficiently separable as folk concepts that this argument is ultimately convincing.
Another objection to Lucretius’ argument is that it focuses solely on death in terms of the individual. One thing he does not fully address in this argument is the fear of another person’s death; rather, he only questions how one might respond by ‘[pining] away in undying grief’ at the ‘return to sleep and repose’ (911-912) of another. Again, this seems to rely on a conceptual separation of dying and death; ‘death’ itself being the peaceful cessation of experience; ‘dying’ being everything else surrounding death that might be reasonably feared, such as grief, the potential physical pain of their death, having to live without this person, the loss of their potential. One might similarly fear ‘dying’ in this way in times of war or natural disaster for the lives of masses of people they do not know. Importantly, Lucretius acknowledges that the soul is ‘visited by feelings that torment it about the future, fret it with fear, and vex it with anxious cares’ (825-826), without any statement that these are rational or irrational emotions. With this in mind, having to make a distinction between ‘dying’ and ‘death’ itself does little to strengthen Lucretius’ argument itself. While this distinction may provide clarity to the terms themselves, and make some statement about what is rational and irrational in our conception, on this reading it lessens the emotional potency of the argument; and while it might be reassuring on the ‘death’ portion, the ‘dying’ portion still seems under-addressed, and very reasonably to be feared.
But finally, given the concept of death is both universal and personal, this reading of Lucretius’ argument might be totally convincing for someone. If what comes after death is nothing, and ‘nothing’ is not a fraught concept for them, then they may very well have their fear of death relieved. On a personal level, there is enough that is distressing about ‘dying’, which Lucretius does not discuss, that the argument is not ultimately relieving; even if, again, there is some poetic reassurance in the idea of those of ‘today’s light’ falling into tomorrow’s ‘peaceful ... [and] deepest sleep’ (1092, 977).
Sunday, 5 April 2020
druid's fury (beginning of a score)
i recorded this on c flute bc im not so good at bass flute just yet but it ended up being 30s so im gonna add to it another day :)
anyway so yeah im totally obsessed with bass flute now
Saturday, 4 April 2020
Lake Lines 1
I'm living near a lake, so I went for a walk and came up with these short lines. I'm going to make it a regular thing!
bunch of text about sad things
TW for child abuse, suicide, and drowning
I've been watching Revelation on ABC. and Bruce Dawe died yesterday, and one of the first poems I remember reading and thinking I want to set to music was his Elegy for Drowned Children. I might soon. but words first
this is a messy poem and I mostly just made myself cry, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I've been watching Revelation on ABC. and Bruce Dawe died yesterday, and one of the first poems I remember reading and thinking I want to set to music was his Elegy for Drowned Children. I might soon. but words first
this is a messy poem and I mostly just made myself cry, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
my mind is melancholy filled with drowned kids
I don't know how to touch it
there's fear and rage all impotent and small
and sad soft thoughts lilting like branches
as gentle as I feel they should have felt
were it not, had it not, had they not
if you have any philosophy
that touches on the metaethical nature of
morality relating to consequence
and if you tell me that destroying a child
whiteanting their soul with your obscene power
and the things you did with your obscene power
was, morally speaking, better somehow than the
destruction of a city, beautiful and ancient,
bursting with stories, full with its future
or that it was better to let this child suffer, suffer and die
than to let the towering religious edifice fall and crumble
that the good of the Power took precedence, that it somehow
at its hands could bear the collapse of just one it was charged to protect;
what Power is so sure that it could carry the corpse
of a desolated child
and cast it sack-like into the ocean
with the rest of them?
tide byed (recording!)
here is the audio for the little bass flute solo from yesterday (intonation on this instrument is yet-to-be-explored territory sorry >.< and also the low singing bits i hecked up because i forgot i was a soprano)
https://soundcloud.com/greytonguelizzed/tide-byed
i'll attach the photo of the score again too :)
today was the last lesson with my HSC students before their full draft submission on the coming monday. it was pretty stressful but four of them finally reached around the 1min 55s mark, and the last student is not too far off. i'm keen to see how the compositions change and become refined from now, during the second half of the school year.
https://soundcloud.com/greytonguelizzed/tide-byed
i'll attach the photo of the score again too :)
today was the last lesson with my HSC students before their full draft submission on the coming monday. it was pretty stressful but four of them finally reached around the 1min 55s mark, and the last student is not too far off. i'm keen to see how the compositions change and become refined from now, during the second half of the school year.
Friday, 3 April 2020
quartet mvt 2 attempt
Had a long day today, reflected a little on this musical idea but it didn't really go anywhere. I'm going to give it another go tomorrow
one of my erhu compositions from last year :)
here's a piece i composed last year for two erhus and one zhonghu (like an alto erhu) for any composers who would like a reference to some non-graphic contemporary piece or just out of curiosity
https://soundcloud.com/greytonguelizzed/unfurl - a rehearsal recording :D
i can't find my original program notes so here are a few sentences i just wrote:
a trio in three movements, each depicting a different motion of unfurling. the first, a sort of blooming, akin to the blossoming of tea leaves in hot water. the second, a more explosive rendition, not unlike fireworks. and the third, a conceptual growing of something seemingly elusive, like the unfurling of a rumour, or even the truth. performers are Dr Nicholas Ng (erhu), Luke Zhang (erhu), and me (zhonghu)!
https://soundcloud.com/greytonguelizzed/unfurl - a rehearsal recording :D
Thursday, 2 April 2020
aaa haven't written in days!
which is a lovely change from "aaa haven't written in months/years!"
i welcomed a new instrument into my family today, and here is a short postlude for it that i will try to play (and record, if playing it goes well) tomorrow:
now i can write myself flute quartets and record all SATB parts! well technically PCAB (picc, C, alto, bass) but pcab sounds like it could be a cuss word lmao so i better not call it that. i've already got a piccolo quintet (5 piccs), loads of C flute ensemble stuff, and a couple of duets involving 1-2 alto flutes (2 altos, 1 alto 1 voice narration, 1 alto 1 dizi). it's bass time y'all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
💫
i welcomed a new instrument into my family today, and here is a short postlude for it that i will try to play (and record, if playing it goes well) tomorrow:
now i can write myself flute quartets and record all SATB parts! well technically PCAB (picc, C, alto, bass) but pcab sounds like it could be a cuss word lmao so i better not call it that. i've already got a piccolo quintet (5 piccs), loads of C flute ensemble stuff, and a couple of duets involving 1-2 alto flutes (2 altos, 1 alto 1 voice narration, 1 alto 1 dizi). it's bass time y'all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
💫
String Quartet 1st movement, complete for now...
Wednesday, 1 April 2020
in honour of april fools
the best trick of them all is optimism
the regular set-up of things getting better
like clockwork, kicks in on the hour
the punchline, every thing always is worse
classic, gets me every time
pessimism is the worst trick
pessimism is all premise, no punchline
it doesn't work if it all just keeps
getting worse
String Quartet movement
My string quartet writing tends to be pretty focussed on the quartet aspect, rather than on the individuality of the musicians, so I wanted to try and write a quartet that highlighted this more. This is in the spirit of a slow movement within that quartet, although I might be trying to reframe the movement structure and haven't quite figured that out yet. If you know of any works that might be what I'm going for, please throw them my way~ ty ty
Tuesday, 31 March 2020
shō excerpt
hello Henry and everyone! my brain has been slow but here are several bars of music i wrote for the shō. i had a few ideas but it was really difficult to put them down on paper. maybe sometime in the future i will continue the piece but for now here is what i've got:
Monday, 30 March 2020
Month of Music Collab 5 - Vatche Jambazian, Piano
Hi everyone!
Introducing collab 5, which is with Vatche Jambazian, solo piano. Many of you probably know that we’ve been close friends for years and I can certainly say that he is a very special musician to write for. He regularly performs classic repertoire, but he also has substantial experience with more recent works, by composers such as Ustvolskaya, Boulez and Saariaho. We were chatting about this collab about 2 hours after the news came out that Penderecki had passed away, and so we settled on this idea:
- duration: 1 page of music, A4/Letter
- compositional prompt: compose an elegy. Interpret this how you wish.
- unfortunately, prepared piano is not possible, given the circumstances
- due date: Friday the 10th of April
Here he is playing some chopin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_c2SbFS8Vo
Here he is playing some saariaho: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqLQ83aDbbs
Here he is playing some scriabin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V08GBsuf6kQ
Month of Music Collab 4 - Elizabeth Yung Cheung, Erhu
Hi everyone!
It's my pleasure to introduce Collab 4, from another of our composers. Composer, performer, and improviser Elizabeth Yung Cheung messes around with the skeletal sounds of solo instruments and chamber settings, cataloguing the noises your teacher tells you not to make during lessons. They've kindly agreed to do some pieces for Erhu, but have some interesting prompts in mind: they're looking for pieces that explore the sound potential of the instrument, rather than attempts at writing faux traditional music. Therefore, they have a preference for graphic scores in this case, although some notated music isn't out of the question.
Liz says about their parameters:
GRAPHIC SCORES - up to 5min
- be as specific as you like! otherwise i will probably be interpreting it very personally NOTATED SCORES - 2-3min - no quick chromatic passages please! - think approx. ameb grade 4/5/6 on violin level??? maybe? heck
- Strings are tuned to D & A, but scordatura is possible.
- due Sunday, 5th of April
If you'd like to explore other instruments in Liz' arsenal, they also have access to an E dizi and a G dizi (and picc, C flute, alto flute).
Here is a performance of Liz', exploring sounds with the Erhu: https://soundcloud.com/greytonguelizzed/vii-hypothermia?in=greytonguelizzed/sets/hits-rather-close-to-home-2018&fbclid=IwAR0efJD2nlZSQ2HQpc8GtK7HlLy-CEEfObHZxSyo-svGkqwIz8PUxEvt8oo
Here are some traditional works that Liz has performed in the past:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq1bEoXzj0k&fbclid=IwAR2ciu9lJL8WgECEqydzdM6my0JM2ruICJyQdVoMP8Q6Z5P9xVetHzJPfOU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7-myVJ3BdI&fbclid=IwAR2UbzYfrSJ6i1QMCRLFjliSmVdlG2e_DmJJ90bPkkdxG1_omtqDvgosYCc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_QKpppskDU&fbclid=IwAR2N8QN7fB_QjvoqAurtiDnjR0Gnk7m7bSOM1ODpmzYterSeaxP1_R50efI
A Whole New World!
Hey all! Sorry about my late contribution for piano solo - I tend to work on several things at once and nothing actually gets done. Here's a fun little arrangement I did, which seems fitting for the current climate, at least in title alone. I made some not-insignificant alterations to it just this morning, hence the delay. The recording will need to wait a few days, due to it been somewhat tricky... until then!
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